Poker One-Liners We Can All Do Without

Poker abounds with quickies - one-liners that seem to carry a cartload of wisdom.
Some indeed do. We even devoted an article to one of them.
Other favorites of mine are:

• Doyle Brunson's "Never go broke in an unraised pot"
• The uncredited "Small hands, small pots; big hands, big pots"
• and the wildly popular, "If you can't spot the fish in the first half-hour, it's you."

Most one-offs come from the greats, or get filtered marked cards down through the culture of the game.
And like aphorisms everywhere, they are admirable for their clean, efficient encoding of deep truths.
Alas, there are others that abound in poker rooms that come up short in the wisdom department but are far more common and more commonly believed.
I'd like to dissect a couple of them for you.
I hope there's a poker lesson here, and I hope even more that having read these you'll stop repeating them.

1. "I crushed the game last night at ____ (fill in the poker room or online poker site of your choice)."

If you "crushed the game" you should really not give yourself much credit.
No one deserves any special accolades for a single big win.
In the room where I play we have a school (metaphorically speaking) of semi-fish. They're actually reasonable players - not particularly gifted, not truly awful.
The game is too big to support the genuinely piscine; they would go broke too quickly.
Our partial fish just lose more than they win but, of course, without them the game would wither away.
One of these scaly folk must have stepped in something on his way in the other day. He caught cards that you would not believe.
It gave new meaning to the phrase "hit in the head with the deck." He walked away with two racks of greenies and over 4,000 coconuts in profit.
Not bad for a fish.
So, what do I hear from him next time I see him? I hear that he "crushed the game."
And not just that he crushed it. He now seems to think he's the best player in town because he recorded one of the bigger wins we've seen in months.